Man down! I’m finally defeated…
After weeks of fighting off this illness/bug/virus … it’s finally caught up with me. No it’s not the Vid, but the super flu!
I have been in bed since Monday…it’s Wednesday and I do not feel any better.
Finally went doctors – and when I say went doctors – I mean a telephone conversation, describing my symptoms and her asking me “what would you like?”
I wanted to answer; “a million pounds, a trip to Bora Bora and my friend back from the dead please!”
What kind of fucking question is that. You are a doctor – prescribe me antibiotics bitch!
She did – I’m on amoxicillin.
During these bed time rests (which I am not used to at all) … I have been doing a lot of thinking. This year has been a rollercoaster. I know last year was all lock down and covid, but it’s sort of rolled into this year without any release or break…
I have held it together for so long that I think my body is just exhausted. I’m exhausted.
Don’t get me wrong – I’m not asking for ahh poor you … first world problems … I’m aware. But I’m still going to write about it – coz I want to share!
It’s not about poor me – although a collective poor you and virtual hug would be greatly appreciated.
It’s about everyone. We are all going through our own issues, problems, fights, family and all sorts.
My point is – we all need to take time to look after ourselves. No one else is going to do it for us …. (Although my mummy made me soup!)
I have had a fight with husband because I have not appreciated his tone and lack of empathy for me in this time of need.
I’m ill – “have u taken anything Shima” is not the right question to ask … “run yourself a bath” is not the right thing to say …
“Let me run your a bath my love”, “go lay down and I’ll bring you some medication sweet cheeks” is the right thing to say…
Seriously – is that so hard to do?
(In all honestly – he has been doing everything… but it’s the tone … and the fact he isn’t nice to me and you know, doesn’t do everything with a smile on his face 🙂 )
Anywayyy I digress …
The whole point to this blog is …I have had a lot to deal with and didn’t listen to my body and I’m now man down! Fix up people – look after yourselves or you end up like me.
Did I mention I’m exhausted?
ohh and on top of this super duper flu; I have also started that great thing which happens every month! FML I’m unwell – and an emotional wreck! I have cried so much my eyes are puffy as well as red… I cry over everything. I mainly want my best friend back, but right now I cry over happy stuff and the cute dog on tv! Anything goes!
One of my good friends is doing “dancing on ice” (shout out Ria Hebden) – I cried so much for her…. In my room by myself!
I have no idea what is wrong with me! I mean I do – it’s the hormones…and the fact … yes … I’m exhausted!
Oh and don’t get me started on work. I’m so behind, I have so many emails and work I need to do. With each day that goes by, the list gets longer and my anxiety gets worse.
I’m going to try and start looking after myself more – I suggest those that are not and I know most of you are not … you need to do the same …
It’s been a few years of hell.
I remember 2019 took so many celebrities… we were all looking forward to 2020 – and that turned out to be a shit show… 2021 seems to be taking friends and family … 😦
Work seems to be endless and unforgiving … We all seem to be busier, unhappier and more tired than ever before.
I am not going into my next birthday (- tender ages of 21) being this way…
For me :-
Selfcare Sunday needs to come back.
I need to take my vitamins again
I need to start missing Olivia in a more productive way (I’ll figure this one out)
I need to start my Monday morning motivation posts again
I need to dance more and sing more around the house…
I need to be happy and be myself again
I need to start seeing the positive to things like I used too…
Life is short – life is also a bitch – but we have some family members and amazing friends who will always see us through and be there in times of need.
Also – you need to take care of yourself…
Peace out – Love to all.
Wilma 